Friday, 25 May 2012

An Open Message to Manufacturers of Sheds

Good news:  I have a shed!


Bad news:  So far it has taken two of us, plus assorted allotmenteers to put it up.  We now have a base, four walls, a door (on the floor) and half a roof.  Hence, the following tips to shed manufacturers:



  1. Label the packets of screws with their length.  It is absolutely no good to me if you tell me I need to use 30mm screws if none of the packets are labelled and I don't have a tape measure on me.  Drawings of the screws all in a little column with their lengths beside them is simply no use when you're hot, tired and cross.
  2. DO NOT put two different size screws in the same plastic (un-labelled) bag.  This smacks of a nasty ploy to confuse your customers.
  3. Please resist suggesting to us that it's best to pre-drill the holes.  We know that already because - unlike Ikea - you haven't drilled them for us!
  4. Employ an architect to do the illustrations, not a creative artist.
  5. Be specific.  For example, you might like to say things like:  Make sure you attach the walls INSIDE the front and back panels because it really does matter.
  6. Drop the bit where it says:  This is a two person job.  No it isn't...particularly on a sloping field best by sudden gusts of wind.
  7. Make it much, much clearer which is the inside and which is the outside of the panels.  Colours would help here.
  8. Make a comprehensive list of EVERYTHING you need to save unnecessary journeys.  For example:  step ladders, a bradawl, a tape measure, a pencil, energy snacks, plenty to drink and (this week) sun screen.  Implying that all we needed was a screwdriver and a drill was economic in the extreme.
PICTURES TO FOLLOW...


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